I was a soccer cheerleader. It doesn't get nerdier than that. I was fired from the soccer cheerleading squad after one year, which I believe to this day is unprecedented. You have to understand, no one went to the soccer games. In fact, I believe part of my duties as a cheerleader was to bake brownies for the team.

My act is based on my life.

If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.

I have what I call A-list moments, but believe me, I'm still on the D-list.