The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.

I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

I also don't have a desire to be on the A-list. I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.

When I see you, I smile. When I touch you, I feel you. When I kiss you, I love you!

If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.

I love doing [stand-up]. I love making people laugh no matter how. Whether it's a commercial, or a TV show, or a reality show, or a talk show, or a special, or a book. However I can make people laugh, that's what I want to do.