I love to work. I love doing standup.

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone it's a joke!

When I'm going to see a comedian, I don't want to see them hold back, and when I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear an abridged version.

Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.

Well, Jon Hamm isn't a real celebrity.

My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.