The truth is, my experience in matters sexual is limited.

Home is where the heartache is.

Any woman who calls herself a post-feminist should keep her Wonderbra and burn her brains.

I speak as your native guide to the mysterious tribe called the English. Dress code is everything. You can be a card-carrying Nazi, you can pay gigolos to eat gnocchi out of your navel and you won't be pilloried -- as long as you never, ever wear linen with tweed.

Teenagers are obviously God's punishment for having sex in the first place.

living with a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban a mum is not allowed to laugh, sing, dance or wear short skirts

As a breastfeeding mother you are basically just meals on heels.