I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.

I'd been doing some light-beer commercials for Budweiser and Coors, and I was doing stand-up comedy. I wanted to get into the acting world, and my agent sent me on audition and they liked it.

As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit.

I don't smoke pot or cigarettes, so inhaling smoke as a non-smoker - it doesn't matter what it is, it's going to make you lightheaded.

I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper

I think I sent out some résumés for marketing jobs, and they all came back in the mail because I didn't have enough postage.

I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals.