Basically, I'm a people pleaser who has a knack for disappointing.

I don't mind seeing two guys kissing, you know, as long as they're clean-shaven.

I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.

Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled.

I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all the garbage. That's one of the reasons people watch the Super Bowl. A lot of them watch it to see the commercials and not the actual game.

If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.

Roxanne came along in '86, when I was doing a lot of stand-up. I auditioned for the movie, and of course I was a huge Steve Martin fan, so I really hoped I would get this part. I don't think there was any part in particular that I auditioned for. I just went in and talked with them. There were so many parts in there, and so many comedians ended up getting in that movie, playing different firemen and townspeople.