Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.

Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.

It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.

Only one fellow in ten thousand understands the currency question, and we meet him every day.

Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.