It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.

I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

I don't know of anything better than a woman if you want to spend money where it will show.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.