Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.

A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.

All I kin git out o' the Wickersham position on prohibition is that the distinguished jurist seems to feel that if we'd let 'em have it the problem o' keepin' 'em from gitten;' it would be greatly simplified

There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.