My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game.

Fashion: a barricade behind which men hide their nothingness.

There ought t'be some way t'eat celery so it wouldn't sound like you wuz steppin' on a basket.

I will say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that is more than I can say for prosperity.

One of the commonest ailments of the present day is the premature formation of opinion.

We like little children, because they tear out as soon as they get what they want.