In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.

There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.

I don't know of anything better than a woman if you want to spend money where it will show.

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.