Knowin' all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein' a good whittler.
Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty, while bein' above suspicion is about th' only compensation fer bein' homely.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.
Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.
A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.