Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an' it keeps on laughin'.
It don't make no difference what is is, a woman'll buy anything she thinks a store is losin' money on.
The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.
The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has traveled is the worst.
A friend that ain't in need is a friend indeed.