Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn't do when he was young.
There ought t'be some way t'eat celery so it wouldn't sound like you wuz steppin' on a basket.
The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.