"Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? "

The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know.

A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.

Only one fellow in ten thousand understands the currency question, and we meet him every day.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an' it keeps on laughin'.

If there's any literary ability in a feller, getting fired out of a good government job will bring it out.

The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son