The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

There ought t'be some way t'eat celery so it wouldn't sound like you wuz steppin' on a basket.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

None but the brave can live with the fair.

A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.

Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.