Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.

One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.

A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.

Don't a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.

Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty, while bein' above suspicion is about th' only compensation fer bein' homely.

The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!