Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

If there's anything mean in a feller, a litter authority will bring it out.

I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

Gossip is vice enjoyed vicariously - the sweet, subtle satisfaction without the risk.

Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.

I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.