The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.

May the God of your choice bless you.

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.

My three favorite travel writers of all time are Robert Louis Stevenson, Graham Greene, and Chuck Thompson. Smile When You're Lying not only tells the truth about the travel-writing racket, it gets to the heart of some of the travel industry's best-kept secrets.

I want to see a Jew in the White house.

My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.