My three favorite travel writers of all time are Robert Louis Stevenson, Graham Greene, and Chuck Thompson. Smile When You're Lying not only tells the truth about the travel-writing racket, it gets to the heart of some of the travel industry's best-kept secrets.

When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.

Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.

I'm also for gay marriage, because I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us. Love is bigger than government. And Texas, by the way, has a very progressive law about gay couples adopting kids. We just won't let them get married. So that's not common sense.

God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.

Like most of us, I determined that I'd rather be a large part of the problem than a small part of the solution.

That's the government. Having been a politician and a musician, I can tell you which one is a higher calling. If musicians ran the country, it would be a much different place. We wouldn't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'd work late.