I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets.

The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

If you gotta kill two birds, might as well get stoned.

Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would be almost as bad as a cocaine habit, a hundred bucks a day.

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.

I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.