When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.

Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.

An editor's job is to take something great and make it good.

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'

I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink.

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!