God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.
Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.
The child-teacher relationship is crucial.
I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!
The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'
When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.