Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp.

If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him.

My three favorite travel writers of all time are Robert Louis Stevenson, Graham Greene, and Chuck Thompson. Smile When You're Lying not only tells the truth about the travel-writing racket, it gets to the heart of some of the travel industry's best-kept secrets.

You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.