My goal as a young man, to be fat, famous and financially fixed by 50.

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

Young people are the key to this election.

You struggle with your demons and you conquer them.

I want to see a Jew in the White house.

Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.

I am not anti-death penalty, but I'm damned sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed.