Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp.

If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!

I am not anti-death penalty, but I'm damned sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed.

I don't feel bad about losing.

I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink.