Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.

The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate outdoors and to attach a certain amount of importance to this popular pastime.

Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas.

Man's ability to delude himself is infinite.

I'm not for the parties. I'm for Texas.

Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.