Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.

This system is really broken. No Child Left Behind has really failed and the only way to solve education is to leave one governor behind.

When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.