If you're patient and you wait long enough, something will usually happen and it'll usually be something you don't like.

The main health hazard in the world today is people who don't love themselves.

I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing I know about true love, it is that sooner or later, it results in a hostage situation.

We've had to be creative to get on the ballot.

The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate outdoors and to attach a certain amount of importance to this popular pastime.

There is a difference between who is important and who is significant.

When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.