The system is not perfect. Until it's perfect, let's do away with the death penalty.

I believe that voices like Ross Perot, Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

If you're going to be an artist, you need to be an original.

I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.

My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.

I'm not pro-life, and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-football.