Happiness is a moving target.

Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp.

May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.

God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.

I suffer from the curse of being multi-talented. There's no doubt about it. Politics and literature have gotten in the way of songwriting.

You never marry the person you first see 'Casablanca' with.