Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun.

We've had to be creative to get on the ballot.

The child-teacher relationship is crucial.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

I am not anti-death penalty, but I'm damned sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed.

If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.