I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.