I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.