I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.