I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?