This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.