I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.