I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.