I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.