I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.