Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.
Kristen SchaalFingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.
Kristen SchaalIf I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.
Kristen SchaalI used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.
Kristen Schaal