One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.