One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.