The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.