The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.

I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.