Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.
Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.
As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.
If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.
The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.
The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'