The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

Some women were talking about how I put out. And that's just not that case. I don't put out - unless I'm asked very, very politely, and that's not putting out, that's just giving in.