The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.