Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.