The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist.

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!