The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.