The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.