The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.