The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.