The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.