The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.