I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.
Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.
Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.
Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.
Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.
Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.