Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that maybe I could pretend that I had babies and that way I could appeal to the people in the audience who have babies and to the people who like to pretend that they have babies.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!