Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.