Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that maybe I could pretend that I had babies and that way I could appeal to the people in the audience who have babies and to the people who like to pretend that they have babies.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.