Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.