The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.