Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?

You write about what you know.

I wasn't making fun of my father in-law's religion. And even if I was so what, it's a comedy. Religion should be made fun of, it's quite ridiculous isn't it. Think how people spend their lives, they have no idea. They go around as if this is a fact. It's so insane you know. If I really believed that stuff I'd keep it to myself. Lest somebody think I was out of my mind.

You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.

I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.