I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.

You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.

Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

I've always loathed rich people, so I've become who I've loathed, which makes it doubly difficult, if you can follow me.

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.

You write about what you know.

A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.