A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied

I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

I got a Swede lawyer?!? She's gonna get everything!

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.

Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.