Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?

Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

I wasn't making fun of my father in-law's religion. And even if I was so what, it's a comedy. Religion should be made fun of, it's quite ridiculous isn't it. Think how people spend their lives, they have no idea. They go around as if this is a fact. It's so insane you know. If I really believed that stuff I'd keep it to myself. Lest somebody think I was out of my mind.

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.

You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.