Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.
It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.
I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.
You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.