Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?

Do not degrade me in the military uniform I wear for it represents the love I have for my country, and the sacrifices myself and millions of other American soldiers make everyday to protect the freedom we enjoy by living in the United States of America.

Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.