Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.

You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.

A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.

I wasn't making fun of my father in-law's religion. And even if I was so what, it's a comedy. Religion should be made fun of, it's quite ridiculous isn't it. Think how people spend their lives, they have no idea. They go around as if this is a fact. It's so insane you know. If I really believed that stuff I'd keep it to myself. Lest somebody think I was out of my mind.